Family Traditons

Halloween 2010

Beetlejuice, a lion tamer, and Dorothy. Love these girls!

Traditions represent those special little things that often times, only happen once a year. Some only happen once in a lifetime. Regardless of their frequency, they give a person roots, a foundation, a place to return. They provide a sense of familiarity when at times in life, things may be leading us in many new directions. Traditions are a place one can return to. Hopefully happy memories are born of them.

Looking at my life, traditions have changed, ended, and sometimes been returned to. Such is life, right? Recently, my family's traditions have been in a season of change. It wasn't an intentional decision to make these changes. They were prompted by family conflict (the extended kind). While these are not the happiest of circumstances, we are currently dealing with, it's our reality none the less. Quite surprisingly, some really good things are growing out of this otherwise complicated time.

Reflecting on the past ten years of being a mom, I think life became kind of assumed and expected. Holidays and celebrations all followed a routine. I wasn't unhappy with doing the "norm". We just did things a certain way automatically. I didn't think about it or question it much. I did feel stuck at times, because I felt like if we chose to do something else, we (my family of four) would miss out. I also worried about how my family would react.

Due to circumstances, Eric and I have felt it necessary for our little family to find new ways of celebrating what used to be extended family celebrations. Our first celebration "on our own" was Halloween. I surprised myself by not being sad about what I was possibly missing. It wasn't the predictable evening of trick-r-treating that we had for the past nine years. It was brand new and it totally rocked. What was even better, my children were happy and that's what is truly the most important thing.

Yesterday, I again did something brand new. I made reservations for our family to spend five days in a secluded log cabin in the Smokey Mountains over the Easter holiday. The idea of waking up in the mountains on Easter morning spoke to me. It seemed like that is exactly where our family should be. I felt bad, just up and leaving our parents on this holiday, but we all felt like this is what we wanted to do this year. Even though we haven't yet gone, I almost feel like this could become our Easter tradition.

I shared this idea with my mom before I did it and I've spoke with her since. She says she is fine with our plans. I also spoke with her twin sister, Aunt Rie. Aunt Rie and Uncle Terry are the ones who first encouraged Eric and I to go to the mountains twelve years ago on our honeymoon. She was so excited for us. I shared with her how I felt bad, bucking tradition. I didn't want to let anyone down. Then she said something that really hit home with me. She told me that we needed to make our own traditions. It felt like permission to do something I had been afraid to do. She confirmed what I have been feeling for a long time, but up until this point, was hesitant to do.

It is now the beginning of March and many holidays have taken place since our inaugural celebration on our own. We are still spending time with our extended family. We still are making sweet memories together. We're just doing it differently and that's okay. The only way we would be "missing out" would be if we did nothing at all, and that is far from the case. I truly feel it to be a blessing to pursue things that are unique and special to our own family. I used to feel guilty for wanting something of our own-like I was disrespecting what my parents had built. Now I realize that it is time for our family to build our own traditions, and that is exciting.