My Whale

One of my favorite books that I return to again and again is Captivating by John and Stasi Eldredge. There is just SO much that I love about the book. I got it as a Christmas present in 2005 from my brother-in-law. It was such an unexpected surprise. He had read Wild at Heart by John Eldredge and Captivating is, I guess, the girl version of it. It speaks to me in such a deep, intimate way. I think that every time I read it, I receive something new from it. Something tangible and real.

In the book, Stasi talks about an experience her husband had. This particular experience is in a chapter titled "Romanced". I love that each chapter starts off with a couple of quotes relating to the chapter. The quotes for this chapter are:

I have loved you with an everlasting love.-God (Jeremiah 31:3)

and

Romance is the deepest thing in life. It is deeper even than reality.-G.K. Chesterton

Oh, how I crave romance! The story talks about how God has been,"...pursuing you from your first breath in order to win your heart" and, "...romancing is immensely personal". It just brings tears to my eyes reading about how real God's love for me is.

For John, God gave him an immensely personal gift. Stasi recounts his experience: while alone, sitting in the sand on a beach in Oregon, "A huge plume of water shot up into the sky, and a massive humpback whale appeared right before him, impossibly close to shore. No one else was near. The time of the whale's annual migration had long passed." What a perfect gift-just for John. How connected he must have felt at that moment.

Stasi goes on to say how she was happy for her husband, but she wanted a whale too! Stasi found herself, soon after, alone on a beach in California thinking about John's whale. Where was HER whale?  Walking for a while, she kind of gave up hope for seeing a whale. As she was walking, she, "...rounded a corner and came upon a starfish, a beautiful orange starfish." She knew it was "her whale". How she must have felt. Her prayer for something equivalent to her husband's experience was answered in an entirely personal way. She says that the whale was meant for John and the starfish was meant for her.

What a perfect conclusion, only she goes on! God had even more for her. The orange starfish wasn't her only gift! After she thanked God for her special gift, she rounded a corner, and, "There before me, behind me, surrounding me, were hundreds of starfish. Zillions of them. There were purple ones and orange ones and blue ones, all sizes." I seriously could quote this entire book! I love every word of it.

This story, among so many others in the book, touched and inspired me. Oh, how I wanted a whale too!! Except I live in Missouri and I've never seen the ocean. Slim chance of me getting an oceanside gift from God. I still longed for it though.

God, of course, heard my prayers and knows my heart through and through. A few years after receiving this book as a Christmas present, on another CHRISTMAS morning, I got my whale. We were at my parent's house and had spent the morning celebrating. Presents had been opened, cinnamon rolls eaten, and coffee drank. We were ready for a breather.

My parents live in a regular subdivision, but their yard is surrounded by acres of trees. My mom would often call me in the morning telling me of what wildlife she spotted in the early morning or the evening before. Most often, she described deer-mommas with their babies. For a few years, there was a peacock. Exciting, huge owls were a favorite. While I loved all of these animals-especially the birds, none of them were my whale.

It was about 11 a.m. Christmas morning. My mom was out on the deck. I needed a little fresh air and joined her. I walked over to the railing and was looking over to the side of the yard where they have a tiny shed like structure. Little did I know, my whale would be making a special Christmas morning appearance. Suddenly, I saw an animal walk out from behind the shed. I looked at the animal and instantly knew something wasn't what it appeared to be.

At first, I thought it was a dog, only I knew it wasn't. This "dog" was gorgeous. It had a beautiful bushy tail and a full coat of hair. Then I noticed that this dog looked different. Its face. Its tail. It was my fox! The one my mom caught secretive glimpses of on rare occasions. I showed my mom and she wasn't sure. HER fox didn't look like this she said. The animal stood still. I called my dad and my husband to come outside and have a look. It was a fox! It was my mom's fox with its winter coat. It was absolutely huge!

We stayed on the deck. We watched the fox and the fox watched us. It just kind of hung out- walking slowly around the perimeter of the yard, finally disappearing deep into the woods. Seeing the fox in my parent's suburban backyard was just as exciting to me as seeing a whale in an ocean. It was meant for me, a gift for me, and loved by me.