I've been writing a LENGTHY story about Ava. I haven't published it yet, but it details some problems we had with her as a newborn. These issues, along with my issue of needing sleep, led me to instigate the "family bed" early on in her life.
I LOVE, absolutely LOVE, sleeping with my babies. We were physically connected those first forty weeks and then that connection changes. Babies are born recognizing the sound of their mother's voice, the smell of their momma, and the comforting rhythm of her heartbeat. Why push a quick disconnection just because of that little thing called birth? I didn't want to be separated from my baby any more than she wanted to be separated from me.
Ava and I spent our first weeks together snuggled up in our cocoon nest while winter happened outside the comfy walls of our home. She nursed and nursed. She slept and we cuddled. There is nothing like the connection I felt nursing my girls. I loved how my breasts would swell up with milk. Ava would suckle and gobble all of that sweet goodness up.
Our life of nursing and sleeping together went on and ON and eventually I had a two year old still sleeping with me, still nursing with the eagerness of a newborn, and still wearing her sweet little diapers. I was ready for change. She wasn't. We compromised SLOWLY. First came weaning. It was hard for the both of us. I was happy with two years though. Audrey and I went for 14 months and then she lost interest. I think Ava was officially two years and two weeks when we wrapped up that part of our relationship. I still miss it a lot.
Diapers are another story. She just wasn't ready. I knew from my experience with Audrey that encouraging potty training is all that one can do. I encouraged and then let things be-waiting and waiting. I think exactly a year from weaning, she was finished with her diapers as well. It has been six months of princess wearing underwear bliss.
This all brings me to the current state of things. Ava is now 3 1/2 years old. She is STILL in our bedroom. The last and final frontier of our separation saga is still being worked out. We have been working on this for over a year. My husband would probably say since birth. It has been a process of try, fail, detour, try same thing a bunch more times, and fail, but we ARE making progress.
Our first plan was to put Ava right into her own room in her own big girl bed. She never slept in a crib so the full size bed would be the first bed of her own. That didn't work. She would cry, freak out, and run down the hall to our bedroom. We tried closing her door to at least keep her in there. She had this habit of getting so upset that she would gulp lots of air in her tummy and throw up. Cleaning up vomit and bathing her late at night (within hours of bathing her the first time) wasn't going to work.
I thought maybe I could sleep in her bed with her and then she would stay. I would wander back to my own bed sometime in the middle of the night only to be followed by girlfriend. She has an amazing mommy radar.
Family bought her special bedtime stuffed animals to comfort her. There was the addition of a nightlight. We put pillows beside her to make her feel secure. We rocked her to sleep before putting her into bed. Nothing worked.
I thought it would be perfect for her and her older sister to sleep together. That way she wouldn't be alone. Everyone agreed that this was a good plan and would work. It of course, didn't work. She would end up back in bed with us. Even if she started the evening with her sister, we would wake up to find her in between us.
We then decided that proximity was the issue. We made a pallet on the floor of our bedroom for her to sleep on. We would have our bed to ourselves and she would have the comfort of sleeping a foot away and two feet below us. Another good plan that didn't work. Let me state here that we didn't give up easily with any of our strategies. We continued to work with her until we eventually admitted defeat and gave up.
We weren't sleeping well at all. We have a queen sized bed and Ava was growing! Our bed was shrinking more and more. For a while we practiced all of the above solutions expecting that one would suddenly catch on and our dilemma would be solved. This was not to be. Just like weaning and potty training, Ava hadn't decided that she was ready.
Unexpectedly, in June I think, we got out a Christmas present that had been sitting on a shelf in Ava's unused bedroom for the past six months. The present? A pink, Disney Princess tent. We had just been to Disney World the previous September and princesses make Ava's world go around. We set it up in our bedroom and that pink princess tent has served as Ava's bed ever since. There have been a few hiccups. Like when we REALLY did go camping and slept in a tent and Ava, Audrey, and I shared a bed. Upon our return home, she kind of thought that set up should continue.
Happily I can say that she is in her tent full time. It sits on our bedroom floor in front of the doors leading to our deck. It gives the room character I think. Anyway it is our solution for now. We're wondering what our next move will be. Move the tent into big sister's room? Move the tent into Ava's own bedroom? We're too thankful for our sleep to start messing with that one yet.
No comments:
Post a Comment