A Letter to the Angler's Angry Wife

My husband loves to fish. He is in fact, a FLY fisherman, NOT a bait fisherman. After a recent discussion, it was perfectly clear to the both of us that despite certain people's feelings, he IS a serious fisherman. Of course, part of the fishing experience includes mass quantities of beer with his serious fisherman friends.

I love country music, and while Eric only manages to listen to it as an act to keep our marriage together, there is one song he does like. Brad Paisley's "I'm Gonna Miss Her", about a woman who leaves her man because he goes fishing AGAIN! I'm not really like that though. I love that he has a cool hobby and good friends he shares that hobby with. I think these little fishing trips offer our relationship nice little breaks. I have 2-4 days to do whatever I please and so does he. I think it's quite healthy. But is he gonna miss me? I haven't left yet...

Upon returning from his latest "annual" fishing trip (if every fishing trip throughout the year is know my its own unique name, one can have up to 365 annual fishing trips in one year), we get into a discussion about...fishing! This conversation included an acquaintance's wife defending her husband's choice not to go fishing with Eric and his friends, because HE is a serious fisherman. The laughter and outrage from that comment. I still think it's funny.

We discussed another friend's baby-on-the-way, and how that friend will have to take a MAJOR break from fishing, because, well, he is having his second child and that IS a big deal and there is NO WAY he can just up and leave his wife with two small children (one being a newborn) so that he can go pursue fish and beer. Um, no brainer... no arguments here...it's only right!

Then I casually mention THE LETTER. Eric is confused. Yeah, he doesn't remember THE LETTER. Luckily for me, I saved it. I save all of his letters, not just the idiotic ones. He doesn't believe that though.

Later that evening, while the girls were in the tub, I opened the hatbox to our chifforobe to find the letter. I open it, and, well the laughter and tears made it hard to understand the words as I read it outloud to my horrified and indignant husband. He kept interrupting me saying, "I can't believe you saved this!" But really what choice did I have? By saving it, I was just being an obedient wife after all. I think he took serious issue with my timing and choice of being the good, obedient wife.

Here it is...the letter to the angler's angry wife. Maybe I should insert the word "postpartum" along with angry here. For the record, Eric can be a total dumb ass.

March 14, 2005

(Side note- at the time of the writing of this letter, our second daughter is exactly 37 days old, she is suffering from MAJOR food allergies and every single bm she has is bloody and has been so for the past two weeks.)

Kimberly,

Please don't throw this away. (I didn't did I? Most obedient wife on the earth!). I just want you to know that I love you very much and you mean the world to me. I know you are very angry with me for going on this fishing trip at this very stressful time. Please know that things will be good for you this weekend and I will be home before you know it. Be patient with Audrey and walk the girls around the neighborhood when you're feeling on the edge. I am not trying to tell you what to do, I just want to help in some capacity. I know that you think I'm selfish for just heading out of town and leaving my family behind, but this trip really means a lot to me, and I promise and solemnly swear that we as a family will be taking some kind of vacation before this year is over (I know that doesn't sound great but I will do my best). Above all Kim please remember our love for each other and our family.

I love you,

Eric

I can't believe I didn't leave him! I totally could have. A judge would have looked at this here letter and proclaimed Eric to be an unworthy, dumb-ass, punk-ass, fisherman. The judge would have sentenced Eric to a life of bait fishing and given me and the girls every single penny Eric would ever earn. I must have been SO sleep deprived and freakishly out-of-my-mind with worry over the whole newborn pooping blood six times a day thing, that I didn't have the strength to leave.

Well I'm glad I didn't, and haven't left my fly fishing husband. That baby is now five years old and no longer suffers from food allergies. We are getting ready to celebrate our 11th year of marriage. Eric can still be a dumb ass, but he has gotten wiser-he quit writing letters, forever recording/defending his actions. As long as we don't have any more babies, we should be okay.